I heard a remark that no one changed because they were given good advice. Even if the advice is exactly what they want to hear or need to hear, the chances of change are minimal. Young people are often the receivers of generous amounts wisdom from elders. But young people are also considered rebellious, hot-headed and lacking in respect of elders.
I take the case of disrespect while giving and taking advice. When given liberally, to cause a change, it rarely works with young and old. Both will resist the change, whether it is for good or bad. Rebellion is the name given when youngsters do this, whereas the excuse for the elderly to change their set ways is 'you can't teach an old dog, new tricks'.
We cannot be changed from outside, it has to be from within. We cannot force ourselves to change either without any real conviction, it has to be a natural process. But for our own benefit, we must change when needed and be flexible to accept changes. This will require an open. flexible and patient mind.
Why is it that we do not accept and embrace change even when the need for it is obvious? IT is so because any change will question our existence by challenging our present set of ideals and the world we have built around us and our beliefs. Adapting to a new world, ideals and beliefs is not the only hard step. Surviving the onslaught on these ideals itself takes a lot of courage and will, since our lives are built on and around these.
We all live in our own shells, built with our own ideas and beliefs, giving us a view of the world that we want to see- a view which hides more than it reveals and a view which shows makes us see many things that are not there instead of what is there. We react to any such change with hostility exactly because of the threats to this comfortable place that we have built for ourselves. Anyone who talks about a different part of the whole truth must be wrong, must be mad and has to be silenced. That person must be brought to conform with what the accepted view of the other individual or society is.
The truth has no place, especially the inconvenient kind since it will be met with a level of hostility that will attack, insult and discredit (sometimes even threaten) the individual who speaks the truth. It is this hostile response that must change when someone or something questions our ideals and beliefs. An open mind that tries to understand and analyse, a flexible mindset which can change when necessary and respect the other person and their opinions can enable us to survive and adapt in an ever changing world. But more importantly, a knowledge of this fact will also enable us to appreciate the difficulties faced by others when confronted with change. We need to do this if we are not to become isolated systems that hold obsolete views to be drowned by the speed of our times and pulled down to the dark, irretrievable depths by the pressure of change.
It is fine to say all this, but am I taking a 'holier than thou' stance by advising without doing anything about it in my own life? It is not advice since no one is going to really see this. These are the mad ramblings of someone who realised these facts from experience and is trying to make use of this realisation for a peaceful life. No one ever changes, it is only 'I' that can change. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, I have not been a good friend, I have pissed of a lot of my friends and room-mates and acquaintances. In fact, I am the opposite of Chandler from FRIENDS- at first this guy might seem the nice kind, but that is only a mirage. The real picture has been quite bad I am afraid. I wish to change, I want to and I hope I can know how to do it soon and implement it. It is not a New Year's Resolution, but part of the hope that I hold out- for a better year, for a better world for all.
I take the case of disrespect while giving and taking advice. When given liberally, to cause a change, it rarely works with young and old. Both will resist the change, whether it is for good or bad. Rebellion is the name given when youngsters do this, whereas the excuse for the elderly to change their set ways is 'you can't teach an old dog, new tricks'.
We cannot be changed from outside, it has to be from within. We cannot force ourselves to change either without any real conviction, it has to be a natural process. But for our own benefit, we must change when needed and be flexible to accept changes. This will require an open. flexible and patient mind.
Why is it that we do not accept and embrace change even when the need for it is obvious? IT is so because any change will question our existence by challenging our present set of ideals and the world we have built around us and our beliefs. Adapting to a new world, ideals and beliefs is not the only hard step. Surviving the onslaught on these ideals itself takes a lot of courage and will, since our lives are built on and around these.
We all live in our own shells, built with our own ideas and beliefs, giving us a view of the world that we want to see- a view which hides more than it reveals and a view which shows makes us see many things that are not there instead of what is there. We react to any such change with hostility exactly because of the threats to this comfortable place that we have built for ourselves. Anyone who talks about a different part of the whole truth must be wrong, must be mad and has to be silenced. That person must be brought to conform with what the accepted view of the other individual or society is.
The truth has no place, especially the inconvenient kind since it will be met with a level of hostility that will attack, insult and discredit (sometimes even threaten) the individual who speaks the truth. It is this hostile response that must change when someone or something questions our ideals and beliefs. An open mind that tries to understand and analyse, a flexible mindset which can change when necessary and respect the other person and their opinions can enable us to survive and adapt in an ever changing world. But more importantly, a knowledge of this fact will also enable us to appreciate the difficulties faced by others when confronted with change. We need to do this if we are not to become isolated systems that hold obsolete views to be drowned by the speed of our times and pulled down to the dark, irretrievable depths by the pressure of change.
It is fine to say all this, but am I taking a 'holier than thou' stance by advising without doing anything about it in my own life? It is not advice since no one is going to really see this. These are the mad ramblings of someone who realised these facts from experience and is trying to make use of this realisation for a peaceful life. No one ever changes, it is only 'I' that can change. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, I have not been a good friend, I have pissed of a lot of my friends and room-mates and acquaintances. In fact, I am the opposite of Chandler from FRIENDS- at first this guy might seem the nice kind, but that is only a mirage. The real picture has been quite bad I am afraid. I wish to change, I want to and I hope I can know how to do it soon and implement it. It is not a New Year's Resolution, but part of the hope that I hold out- for a better year, for a better world for all.
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