The first step to solving a problem is to recognise what the problem is. It has been nearly forty days since Civil Service Mains exam concluded and I need to understand what the impact has been in order to begin a repair process. I do not want to do an analysis of the exams. This is not just because I do not know how to analyse it but I think it is also a pointless exercise. I have done what I could have, and nearly everything I had to. But the results will be the same and my analysis will have no impact on that. Next year is going to be a completely different ballgame and so there is no point in learning from my mistakes.
The most visible impact has been the sight of me- I have gained weight and expanded while repairing the damage is proving frustratingly and imperceptibly slow. I hope things pick up speed or at least results are visible in a few weeks, just like my exam result. Another impact has been in the way I am writing now and I do mean write! Until a few months ago, it was easier and first nature for me to type out what I thought and wanted to publish. But several mock tests, practice and deliberate measures to gain writing speed later, I find it slightly awkward to type it out like before. I had to exert myself to write and so I had decided not to type but write whatever I felt like. Thus, most of what would have been blog posts where put down on paper and that is why there haven't been any posts for the last few months.
Before writing became a habit, I just used to type without thinking and make corrections later. But this cannot be done on paper for an examination and so I had to prepare a rough draft either in my mind or on paper for very long essays. This was new for me but I was able to make the shift without much difficulty. Trouble began when I tried to get back to the old style of impulsive, instinctive and emotional writing where I could just turn on the computer and type what I felt like. This is not possible anymore since I had to actually write on paper an outline of what I wanted to post here.
Another problem is that posts appear like answers to a specific question and even worst of all, the title is actually the question! This post initially had the title Exam Impact Assessment (EIA) as a tribute to Environment Impact Assessment and various ongoing issues on the matter. I hope this title is better but the previous post, highly unlikely that you have read it, has been the victim of a highly exam oriented answer and then a pathetic attempt at retro-fitting to make it more human friendly. Although these two recent posts are not anywhere my previous attempts, I had to somehow begin the process of getting out of the exam mindset in writing and expressing myself.
There are several other issues relating to my personality that the exam and post exam emptiness have thrown up. I am trying to tackle them but it is becoming too much of a task. I have the time but this is one occasion when having time on my side is not really a blessing since it gives me too much time to think what if and all those negativities come out as real possibilities. I hope these can all be dealt with effectively and there is light at the end of the process.
The most visible impact has been the sight of me- I have gained weight and expanded while repairing the damage is proving frustratingly and imperceptibly slow. I hope things pick up speed or at least results are visible in a few weeks, just like my exam result. Another impact has been in the way I am writing now and I do mean write! Until a few months ago, it was easier and first nature for me to type out what I thought and wanted to publish. But several mock tests, practice and deliberate measures to gain writing speed later, I find it slightly awkward to type it out like before. I had to exert myself to write and so I had decided not to type but write whatever I felt like. Thus, most of what would have been blog posts where put down on paper and that is why there haven't been any posts for the last few months.
Before writing became a habit, I just used to type without thinking and make corrections later. But this cannot be done on paper for an examination and so I had to prepare a rough draft either in my mind or on paper for very long essays. This was new for me but I was able to make the shift without much difficulty. Trouble began when I tried to get back to the old style of impulsive, instinctive and emotional writing where I could just turn on the computer and type what I felt like. This is not possible anymore since I had to actually write on paper an outline of what I wanted to post here.
Another problem is that posts appear like answers to a specific question and even worst of all, the title is actually the question! This post initially had the title Exam Impact Assessment (EIA) as a tribute to Environment Impact Assessment and various ongoing issues on the matter. I hope this title is better but the previous post, highly unlikely that you have read it, has been the victim of a highly exam oriented answer and then a pathetic attempt at retro-fitting to make it more human friendly. Although these two recent posts are not anywhere my previous attempts, I had to somehow begin the process of getting out of the exam mindset in writing and expressing myself.
There are several other issues relating to my personality that the exam and post exam emptiness have thrown up. I am trying to tackle them but it is becoming too much of a task. I have the time but this is one occasion when having time on my side is not really a blessing since it gives me too much time to think what if and all those negativities come out as real possibilities. I hope these can all be dealt with effectively and there is light at the end of the process.
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