The Year That Was

I tried to review the year 2022, but then on January 2nd 2023, my father passed away. That's a strong and blunt opening line, but I have no other way to start describing a year that had me move jobs and cities multiple times and also finally turn my family's world upside down.

The beginning of the year was about LIBOR transition at the time of Corona. At work, it meant uncertainties, wrangling with IT and mid office to implement changes about which I was also learning on the go from online articles, other banks and through trial and error. The omicron wave lashed at my home as well, but the effects then were minimal while the long term damage will remain unknown.

A deserved break and visit to my in-laws in Thrissur was upended when, out of the blue, exactly a year ago to this day, the Bank made it clear that it would transfer me back to retail banking, albeit near home, as per the newly minted HR policy which gave primacy to branch banking. The policy deserves an entire thesis to be devoted to dissect it's pros and cons and impact on the Bank and it's personnel- hence I do not wish to delve into that now. For me, it meant family would be unattended in Mumbai while I would be at home, or so I thought.

That was when I realised the difference between a home and a house. I was alone at my house that had been my permanent address since birth, but I did not feel comfortable. Without my family, I felt suffocated and rudderless. 

That did not have to last long fortunately, as after a lot of bureaucratic wrangling, I was able to get my family back home, which I thought would be the beginning of some stability.

Stability- I have lost sight of what that means. When I joined in Kerala, I was a fish out of water- transplanted from the world of market risk to credit risk. It was not just uncomfortable but even hostile. I must admit that the immediate environment was very supportive, but it was more like inmates at a prison trying to make each other feel better and hoping for an escape or serving out their sentence before losing all hope for a normal life.

The initial period was a struggle but I felt hardwork would give results. My stance was vindicated and my usual strategy of studying, reading and just brute force trial and error worked, or so it seemed. There were results, but it was all in vain as I could not escape the pitfalls of retail banking in SBI. This too deserves to be analysed thoroughly, which I would leave for a later post.

I had to leave, for peace of mind, and realised the purpose of fear and anxiety - it's meant to force us to get out of threatening scenarios and if that's not possible, survive it. Right from the day I joined, I was afraid of such a turn of events. Everyone dismissed it as unreasonable and attributed it to my mind's failings. The riposte from management or seniors was that "so many people are doing it, what is the problem with you?". 

I like to think that the answer is "I have other options while others are scared to explore anything outside" and not "I'm too scared and not as brave as them". 

And so, I left. Some say it was a brave call, I felt it was unwise and hasty. But either way, I felt it was the only option. The interregnum was scary, but the emergence of options made it easier with time, each of which had Bangalore as the destination.

The options emerged due to the risks I took in 2017. At that time, it looked hasty and unwise. I left everything and everyone I knew and dived into unfamiliar depths. I was broken down, all my limitations - anxiety, homesickness, lack of self confidence- laid bare infront of an unforgiving city that pushed me to the edge, before I was able to claw my way back.

Thus having seen off Mumbai, Bangalore seemed a step down in all aspects- despite the city's famed IT sector, it's not as fast paced as Mumbai. For me, the lack of sunshine and slow paced work were mood dampeners. The profile was also not what I wanted at the time, but perhaps it was what I needed then - something easy to pick myself up after the complete dismantling of my confidence at the hands of top management.

Perhaps Bangalore had the same opinion about me- you're not suited here. Senior colleges definitely thought so- I had to go back to what I was doing before, go full circle and start off again. Another role change and location change beckoned me. 

As I prepared for this, the new year brought dad news right in its early days and the rest of the year will go in getting used to a new reality. The sudden loss meant that I had never saw him an old man- he was full of life, activity and shouldering responsibilities till the end. I never had a chance to create a memory to remember him and all I'm left with are memories of daily life- the list making on things to be done each day, analysis of deposit interest rates, driving somewhere (wouldn't let me drive if he was also in the car!!), taking care of my daughter, supervising the labourer who cleared the land, grocery shopping... 

I'm not able to accept that he's gone, naturally since it's been less than 50 days. But to live on without being able to plan and manage things without his "audit", to take decisions with long term implications without his insights and the fallback option that he provided- it'll be doable but I'll miss him.

A year of challenges thus gives way to an era of even greater challenges and responsibilities. But this time, there wouldn't be the bulwark that my father was. During my last stint in Mumbai, the limited options in terms of housing, location, pay and comforts that came with SBI were set off by him and perks from his job. Going back hence would be a new challenge, but after having faced off once before, I know what to expect. Plus, the constraints of SBI do not bind me anymore.

While seeking counsel on what to do about the situation at home, one of my SBI seniors told me "life must move on" and I realise more scope for those words each day. I need to live, work, take care of family and then one day, put what has happened behind me and begin to enjoy life fully. Might not be this year though, but I need to get ready for that.

30 Years of LPG

The economic reforms that India has embarked on since 1991 are known as LPG or Liberalisation-Privatisation-Globalisation, abolition of License-Permit Raj and the critic favored Crony Capitalism reforms. Whatever the christening, the reforms were essential at the time and that is where I would like to begin.

At the time, it was well known that our country had run dangerously low on foreign exchange reforms and it is also widely critiqued that India was arm-twisted by the Global economic powers into the reforms. But this overly simplifies the crisis that was India was staring as it brushes aside the deeper issues in the economy. Apart from the foreign exchange issue, India had a very high fiscal deficit and inflation fuelled by government profligacies- both revenue and capital expenditure were out of control. Lack of efficiency due to restrictions on private sector and an obese public sector meant poor export competitiveness while the nature of the economy meant we could not completely avoid imports. 

The population was expanding but had no visible avenues for gainful employment apart from the microscopic private sector and inefficient small public sector. The concept of brain drain was part of school textbooks (I remember reading about it in 1999 for Civics) as the best option for an educated Indian was to follow what Gandhiji had said "Quit India". India was at the bottom of various social indicators like Infant and maternal mortality, life expectancy and literacy. As the state occupied commanding heights of the economy, it forgot to look at the grass roots level issues faced by its people.

Did the reforms resolve all the issues? The answer definitely is a NO. Then did the reforms fail? The answer there also is a NO. Although the purpose of the reforms was crisis management, the opportunity was used to rectify structural issues in the economy. How did the reforms achieve that?

Firstly, the abolition of License-Permit Raj ensured that private sector was allowed to grow. This indeed has happened and they are mostly free, especially in areas that do not require hard capital and resources. The growth of domestic steel, automotive, media, telecom and software sector is a direct result of this freedom. Secondly, the growth of private sector and greater employment for individuals reduced the need for social support while increasing government revenue which in turn contained the fiscal deficit and negated the need for fiscal profligacy which was euphemistically called deficit financing. Third, the entry of private sector without bondages enabled Indian products to be competitive in International markets and brought in much needed foreign exchange. The expectations of future growth also brought in foreign capital which has fuelled further growth in new age companies (Start-ups), infrastructure and even education (Eurokids, a pre-KG education chain has attracted foreign PE funds into India).

Next, the fact that they generated employment is stating the obvious, but they also allowed Indians to stay in India and support intellectual and economic growth in the country. Finally, as the state was being freed from running the entire economy and being the biggest player in the economy, it could now focus on being the umpire- act as a purely neutral regulator to ensure that the private sector played by the rules and also ensure progress at the grassroots level- meet basic human needs and support their upward social and economic mobility.

The reforms did not obviously generate the full results. One of the major reasons significant discretionary and opaque control over resources still lies with the state. The 2G and Coalgate scams owe their origins to this state control. Continued environment issues and unabated deforestation also owe their origin to Government interference in resource allocation under influence of the powers that be. The government also did not fully embrace social support as early as it should have. Our progress in various human development indices and social sector is behind that of Bangladesh and Srilanka which had lower economic success when compared to India.  

Another issue was that when the change happened in 1991, there was a small class of Indians that were able to benefit from the resources. They were educated (Engineers, MBAs, Doctors etc)  or in Government jobs (I benefitted from here as both my parents had Government jobs and so under that safety and periodic salary revisions, I had the freedom to study or pursue my own goals) or had already established business houses (Tata, Birla, Ambani, Godrej etc). For them, the reforms provided the opportunity to fully utilise their potential. 

As a small section of the population benefitted from the reforms, the majority were in no position to take advantage of the changes sweeping through the nation. The state in fact, withdrew too much in certain areas- especially health, education, infrastructure and agriculture- and was late to assume the role of a regulator as it took time to find its way through the maze. Meanwhile, a majority of the population was caught in a torrent and thrown out of control as private sector started taking over or polluting land, water, forests and the air while having no access to education to lift them out of their situation, lacked health to fight for their rights and had opportunities restricted by the lack of infrastructure.

I would like to elaborate with the example of agriculture in India. State support for farmers is now on the decline, especially with the new farm laws where the government intends to promote contract farming, remove stockholding limits and abolish APMC act. The benefits and demerits of these legislations are beyond the scope of this article since we are limiting ourselves to the 1991 reforms, however this is a clear sign of withdrawal of state support. However, are farmers capable of living without this support? Are they all capable of entering into contracts with corporates? Is there a regulatory body or grievance redressal body to ensure fair transactions? 

The state has also invested very little in improving farm infrastructure and supply chain- whether it be warehouses and cold storages to paved roads for farmers to take their produce to the market. Further support in modernising their farming practices- like mechanisation, water and soil conservation, getting certification for organic farming methods, awareness building on climate change and its impact- these are areas where the private sector will not see any benefits due to its inherent short term nature.

The government needs to support co-operatisation, creation of Farmer Producer Organisations, training and education for farmers etc. But the state has continued its pre-liberalisation era policies of Minimum Support Price and politically attractive but economically and environmentally disastrous policies like free power, subsidised chemical fertilisers and high MSP for water guzzling crops.

In conclusion, in addition to freeing up the private sector, the withdrawal of the state from the commanding heights of the economy should have freed up the government to divert its attention and resources generated from privatisation and new revenue streams to improving the daily lives of its masses and build a level playing field. Unfortunately, the excess withdrawal of state in certain sectors lead to the fruits of reforms of 1991 being restricted to a small minority that had the potential at the time while the majority of the population still needs state support to build their potential to utilise the opportunity presented by the reforms. The lack of effective and timely regulatory measures also played a part in cornering of resources by a savvy few which also needs to be effectively rectified.

BKC in Times of Corona

Bandra Kurla Complex in Mumbai is a hussle of activity during weekdays as lakhs pour into dozens of swanky glass panelled buildings. Mammoth buildings of government offices and public sector enterprises rub shoulders with public, private and foreign banks in BKC which is also host to a few corporate offices. The diamond bourse deserves special mention due to its sheer size and the activity of diamond trading that happens here.

Apart from the morning and evening rush hour during weekdays, the place is filled with people out for a smoke during the day and for a drink the evenings. Weekends also attract a fair crowd due to the smattering of restaurants that occupy the ground floor of most buildings. But all these are descriptions of the past- an era before covid made BKC a hub of desolate glass castles. By the middle of March, most of the offices had send its staff home and implemented work from home. The crowds thinned and by the time lockdown was implemented from March 24, the place had an eerie silence at all times. As I stay in BKC and since my office has temporarily moved to another building in BKC, I have been able to observe the place over the last three months. During the days of work from home, I have taken the liberty offered by the desolate area to walk around a bit.

During April, BKC ground was host to the APMC market and it was interesting to see trucks lined up on both sides of the road in the evening waiting to enter the market. During one of my trips to office in the morning, I also saw a lorry full of cauliflower, probably waiting to drop off its cargo in the market at night. Till the first of June, it had been just a few cars and some trucks carrying equipment to set up the covid care centre and ambulances ferrying patients to the centre. Large queues had also appeared in front of the diamond bourse as it obtained special permission to operate during the lockdown, thus becoming the first unit to commence operation.

During my evening walks, I have observed a gradual increase in those using the low traffic and wide roads to practice and hone their driving skills. Perhaps there are not many places like this in Mumbai where you can do these things without crowds and risk of infection and police- the place is quite desolate these days. But the same conditions also provide a secluded spot for those (usually couples) who perhaps lack the space to be alone in their own thoughts and worlds. I guess there is also a limit to what they have to talk about and so that is why there are many such duos who practice driving.

Since June though, there has been a shift in the traffic. There are more autos and taxis plying the roads, but nowhere near the dozens that waited infront of each building and ferried thousands to the nearest railway station on a shared basis. The number of personal vehicles has increased significantly, visible from the vehicles that overflow onto the wide roads due to fully occupied parking spaces in office buildings- a sign that people are resorting more to personal transport- whether due to lack of public transport, especially trains, or out of fear I do not know.

Something that I have not been able to accept, although it is as clear as daylight, is the fact that restaurants that are highly expensive attracted food delivery app based business even during the peak lockdown period and this continues even now with the addition of those coming with friends and families for takeaway which they consume inside the vehicle or huddle around the lugge compartment. It is perhaps my naivety or lack of knowledge about the real world that stops from accepting the fact that there are a lot of very rich people who could afford these previously and for them the situation has not changed except in the form of a few inconveniences that do not really affect their wealth.

Perhaps the disease will go away, perhaps we will find a way to live with it or I do not wish to ponder. I guess there will always be those who will lose a lot of the little they have and those who will lose only a little of the lot they have or even add to it. I am only an observer trying to make sense of the world as it moves on.

Home is where the heart is

I used to miss my home when in university and even while in Mumbai, I prefer the peace and comfort of home over the rush and liveliness of the city. It is not just familiarity that I miss- the greenery, water, rains, comparative lack of poverty, relative empowerment of women and indifference towards religion and caste were all features I cherished about Kerala. I considered myself lucky to have been born in there.

I used to be proud of the political awareness of the people who vote out each government with contempt, assert their rights fearlessly and the strong links maintained by non-resident mallus with their roots. I was saddened by the floods that mercilessly made indelible marks deeper on the minds of my people than on the landscape, but the unity with which the people clawed back from the brink made my eyes well up with hope and pride.

Of late, things have changed. There has been a tectonic shift in the surface- but what has become frightfully obvious is that this is only an outpouring of emotions and fears that were so far tucked away in the dark recesses of the Malayali psyche. That these emotions have always existed is a fact to which I woke up only due to the recent incidents that have proved beyond doubt that Kerala is as susceptible to communal polarisation as any backward north Indian shrine is to political opportunism. These incidents were merely the first signs of black on my mind's canvas on which I had adoringly painted my land.

Until now, the abuses and shoutings that used to happen on facebook profiles of actresses and social activists were considered as a normal process of adjustment of a predominantly middle-aged and old society to the winds of change sweeping through the world. Assertiveness of women on the social scene, liberation of different sexual identities, openness in discussing hitherto taboo subjects like menstruation and sexual health were a progressive trend that met natural reactionary opposition like in any part of the world. I judged that openness and freedom were winning and the trolls and abuses were seen by me as the dying gasps of an outdated and soon to be abandoned conservatism, male chauvinism. Although I was not in favour of extreme reactions like "Kiss of Love" which was very nearly about challenging the other side to a fight and not a sincere attempt to reform, I felt such extreme steps are par for the course when reactionaries also go to the extreme level and contemptuously dismiss the need for any change.

But I was wrong. These reactions were the violent suppression of a much needed fledgling reform movement that could have ensured that women could safely drive their cars without getting abused at any time of the day. These reactions were meant to snuff out any attempt to change and not merely the last vestiges of a dark age. The kind of attack on women and children, will send a chill down the spine of even the most detached and indifferent braveheart. The fact these are coming out with alarming regularity makes me wonder how long "God's own country" has shrouded itself under the veneer of nature's bounty and social progress  without revealing the truth that is full of "Devil's own people".

Political activism is just a means for various political factions to capture power at the cost of innocent lives. While celebrating the unity and fortitude of the people in the aftermath of the floods, the revelation by a court appointed investigation that it was the ineptitude of the administration that caused the floods unwinds any claim to administrative and political progress in the state.

This is where Mumbai shows a different path- all the good, the bad and the ugly are laid bare. From the stark economic contrast to the indifference towards both the affairs of other people and environment degradation, the grimful days of communal riots, wounds of terrorism and the darkness of gang wars, the city has accepted it all and not denied or hidden anything. The kind of safety that women and children confidently enjoy, the freedom the city gives its students to pursue any career path- be it commerce or acting (unlike my state where you HAVE TO BE a doctor or an engineer), the freedom to mind my own business and my indifference to the life of others is something Kerala can learn from.

I do not want Kerala or any part of it to transform itself into a city of inequality where trampling the slower ones under the foot mad rush of life is essential for one's survival and creaking infrastructure that makes life just long journeys to and from work filled with uncertainties. But I wish my state would stay green, politically aware, forget religious differences and defend itself from selfish, shameless and crooked politicians, ruthless and unscrupulous businessmen and most dangerous of them all- indifferent people.

We the people need to stop suppressing and denying their own identity and need to confront it head on. We need to come out into the open and deal with all the festering issues in our mind- male superiority, obsession with flaunting wealth, disregard for nature ranging from encroachment on sensitive water bodies to unstable hillsides and lack of respect for labour. As the state with highest literacy in the country, we should also be leading the country in the fight against fake news, sensational reporting by media and fake social media posts and also online frauds.

However, we seem to be faring no better than the rest of the country in handling these issues. As Joseph Alex famously said, all of us need a huge dose of "Sense, Sensibility and Sensitivity" for things to get better. Although a famous movie dialogue, it fits in perfectly as a solution to the current issues we have in our state.
As I write this after a two week holiday in Kerala, I do not miss the place, I do not have pine for a life there, but I do wish things would get better there and that I am able to be a part o
f that transformation.

Machine, Witch and I

I am creating a post simply because I have time and have nothing to do but wait for others to do their job. But the results are with me and the final impact is quite clear, I will be very late to get home today. This happens more frequently than I would like and each time, as the fact that I would be stuck in office for the most flimsiest of reasons sink in, a tsunami of emotions well up in my mind accompanied by a tide of acidity in my stomach. Since these are unhealthy, I have tried to control my emotions and thus the gastronomic discomfort. However, bottling up emotions do not achieve anything and so I am trying to put a positive spin on my fortune.

I thought I would contemplate on the two novels written by Malayattoor Ramakrishnan that I have read. From amongst his oeuvre, I have read only "Yanthram" and "Yakshi", so it is not a fair way to judge or measure any author, let one one as prolific and acclaimed as Malayattoor. It is very obvious that I am not qualified to judge an author of such high calibre, so I would like to restrict myself to what I experienced while reading the book and how I felt about it.

Beautiful but terrible, that is the easiest way to describe "Yakshi". In every line, there is a sense of fear mixed with dejection. Even when there is hope, you know that there is a cloud of darkness that is growing stronger and since I was reading this at a time of great mental and physical discomfort for me, the novel brings back painful memories. But one thing that the novel abundantly makes clear is that it is neither the physical trauma nor its impact on his visage that drives the protagonist, but the loss of confidence and the resultant inferiority complex. Although it could be considered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I feel that there is more to the inferiority complex.

Although the actions of the protagonist have no similarities to what I did during that period, the gloom, dread, sense of despair were common which were amplified by my state of helplessness. I was stuck in a big city, alone and the "small fish in a big pond" had scared me no end. To the protagonist in "Yakshi", it was the mental trauma caused by an accident that pushes his mind to fill up with gloom and dread, which then starts to carve him apart from the inside. I realised I was doing something similar to myself and hence tried to handle it in a better way. It was all in my mind and it was definitely controllable if I just could accept reality.

However, I realised that I could not do anything to get a grip on my mind till the tide turned in my life. I was helpless and my life was at the mercy of everyone but me- the city, the job I had chosen, the people I lived, worked and travelled with- had more control over my fate than me. This is where I met Balachandran from "Yanthram"- someone who was able to hang on to the unstable, big and uncertain world into which he was suddenly thrown into. Although he loses who he is, gets sidelined frequently and even loses a sense of what is right and wrong, he does survive. But the terms of his survival are not his, they are determined by his own inferiority complex, a sense of desparation to do something remarkable and also his selfishness. I could not let these conquer me.

I realised I needed one thing to go well, a straw at which I can clutch and climb my way out of the pit I had dug my mind into. I was eventually able to do that and for now, I am still above ground.

Don't be Hasty

My father used to say, "In Mumbai everyone's got a wheel on their legs". I realised it is true the moment I reached this place. Right from the rush to exit the aircraft to the daily rush to board the local train, people here are in a hurry. It is not a hurry to get things done because if it was, they would not have thrown themselves into even an empty compartment where it is certain that there are seats for everyone waiting to board. This is the rule by which the place functions and then it seeps into the mind- it percolates into everything that one does and the change is irreversible for most.

The mind too attaches itself to a wheel- while legs carry the body to the train, mind is busy calculating which platform to board the train, which compartment to board, when to jump on board and then what to play on the mobile. Added to this haste is the distraction offered by electronic gadgets, social media, television and the traditional yellow papers. I don't even have the patience to list out all the distractions and I don't even have the time to think, collect my thoughts and put them down here.

So, I am here, I need to put down what I have learned after coming here and I cannot get up before this is complete. I have kept other gadgets away from reach and my mind, hoping I can force my mind to reach a logical destination. I need to not let the haste of my body reach my mind and brush aside all which does not let me go at my pace. The time I have been here has taught me a few things and I am trying to put that together what I want for myself, what I see as right and what I can do.

The first lesson is that I need to learn- this could be about my work, how to deal with people, how the market functions, how my own organisation functions and its pitfalls and the grim reality of post-truth hyperbole, ineptitude and unwieldiness that is haunting my country. Learning is to be better at my job and life and the exposure that I have had once I came to Mumbai has enabled me to change myself for the good to some extent. There are a lot of things that I am yet to implement and I need to start very soon with that.

Next lesson is to wear a mask- this mask is to not let people know who you are, what you are thinking at any particular moment and to be unpredictable. It helps because the world is not fair and even if you go with the best of intentions, someone will deliberately hit you with a truck and trample you. This would help you as it hides where you are going and how you are going.

Although I have had the policy of not trusting anyone, it has not been a sacrosanct commandment of mine. I need to follow this at any cost. Everyone has their own selfish interest and opportunities are few- just grab it no matter what. I do not want to harm or deliberately tarnish anyone, but I will stand up for myself and everything that is important to me.

Then, have clear priorities. To me, job is not a pathway to salvation and it is only a way to pay the bills. I have seen what goes on and it is not in the best interest of my survival to meddle in things beyond my grade or commit myself to more than what my pay justifies. My life is for me and my family- job can only take whatever is left behind, it cannot have the best of me. In the mad rush to survive in the job, for better appraisal, for foreign postings or promotions, there are those who forget themselves. I have seen those who cannot stand their peers take even a single step more than themselves or reach parity. They want to be in the limelight, at the forefront and with a clear lead over others- I do not wish to run myself out of breath trying to beat others.

There are new challenges getting ready as I write this and it will take a lot more than what I have to overcome those. I hope I am up to those and handle them without haste, at my own pace and on my terms. It is not always possible, but there is not limit to hope.

Nostalgia?

It was a coincidence as a friend shared my old photos from 2010 right when 10 year challenge is trending on facebook. Although I consider nostalgia to be a futile emotion and a relapse into the past as unhealthy, it got me thinking on where things went wrong. I might even be making the same mistakes now, as I did then, so the exercise was also meant to be a course correction.

I realised that I lost the plot after 10th standard board exams. I did not decide for myself what I wanted and was ripped apart by the decisions my parents took for me. I did not know what I wanted and went with what they lead me into. It has been over 14 years since those days and I have no regrets about whatever has happened since then. But I wish I had some measure of control over what went on during those days.

I did not read or write or develop myself personally at an age I should and instead, went into the rat race of entrance exams. I recount all this because I am in a similar situation right now. I need to take control of my life or else I will be lost and a decade later, I will be trying to find out what I did with my life. I don't want the critical junctures of my life to be blurs where my life was lead by forces totally out of control and I merely accepted it all passively.

I have not written anything for the past three years. This is an attempt to reclaim this life. Not sure whether I will be successful.

Since "Truth" is stranger than Fiction

At a time when Hollywood is facing an acute shortage of ideas, proved by futile attempts to repackage (Exhibit A- Jason Bourne http://www.thehindu.com/features/cinema/cinema-reviews/jason-bourne-review-snoop-god/article8948373.ece ) or reboot previously successful formulas, it has found that five words can bring audience in droves- "Based on a True Story". My memory starts with the movie "Titanic", where the ship was just a metaphor for a brief but deeply meaningful love affair that had its impact over a lifetime and not the focal point of the story. The movie was not an attempt to create a documentary, but superimposed a beautiful and haunting love story on the already well known disastrous maiden journey of the vessel.

Recently however, movies based on true stories have deviated so much from the truth that their real life protagonists have had to issue statements and elaborate their actions. The most recent example of this has been the movie "Sully"(http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-09-07/crash-investigators-pan-their-portrayal-as-villains-in-sully). The purpose is to create a drama where none exists and keep the audience engaged. It would have been difficult to portray the self doubt of "Sully", if there was no evil side or opposition against which he had to wage a battle. In fact, merely depicting the mental agonies of one character, no matter how heroic he is in real life, would not have retained the audience for long without considerable directorial skills. In the era of instant gratification and entertainment in short action packed bursts, no one can blame a master story teller like Clint Eastwood in taking the easy way out- add more drama to make it more appealing to all audiences.

Even worse have been digressions from the truth in movies like "Argo" where they portrayed the Iranians- both the King and the revolutionaries- as savage, corrupt and dogmatic. The fact that these nations were used as merely pawns on the Cold War Chessboard is never emphasised.

Here, perhaps, we can find clues to why the truth is depicted in a different way. It is more convenient and necessary for western movie makers to take this route- to portray the actions of their regimes as legitimate, heroic and thus deserving to be praised and supported. Then, tarnish the other as evil and decadent that needs to be "democratised" and rescued. This is then linked to aspects like national pride and patriotism, a trend that has long been in existence in English movies (eg-Bridge on The River Kwai, Lawrence of Arabia)

The same aspect is creeping into Indian cinema as well. The movie "Airlift" significantly (http://www.hindustantimes.com/bollywood/sorry-akshay-kumar-airlift-is-short-on-facts-external-affairs-ministry/story-fcQzeFk3l7CqJioB8rJRLP.html) deviates from the truth, but that is irrelevant as far as the movie makers are concerned.

Personally, I feel that claims like "based on a true story" should not be encouraged by the media. No one can stop the movie makers from promoting their movie as based on true events, even if their connections with the truth is tenuous. However, media should stop extending support to the hype behind "true story" claims, which currently includes promotions in news and appearances on talk shows. Next, moviegoers should educate themselves about the truth or at least realise that the full truth can never be portrayed on screen and what is portrayed on screen is only partly true. I also hope that moviemakers stop abusing the the five word phrase, if they don't, it might become necessary to force them to issue a disclaimer (or claimer in this case) reading "some of the events/characters/plot in this movie are similar to real life".

The best solution for everyone would be if moviemakers found inspiration from imagination and, when they depict true stories, do justice the truth without distorting it.

Give it Up: Good vision, Uncertain results

Subsidies are meant to ensure that those who cannot afford certain essential goods and services are provided these at a lower price. The difference between the market price and purchase price is borne by the government. Therefore, it should also mean that those who can afford the market price actually buys it at that rate.

The recent campaign launched by the government, which exhorts the public to give up LPG subsidies, is in consonance with the above mentioned idea. Those who can afford to give up the subsidy can give it up, while someone who cannot afford it will be provided the subsidy. This is an idea that has economic and social relevance in our country. When combined with Direct Benefit Transfer, it will allow the government to prevent diversion of domestic LPG cylinders for commercial use- agents will no longer be able to divert those cylinders unavailed out of the twelve subsidised ones each consumer is eligible for, to the black market. In addition, the subsidy given up by each consumer is used to benefit someone who is currently using firewood or other inefficient and polluting source of fuel.

All this however, seems too idealistic because it is too rational  and too simple. It does not consider how people actually think, as for instance, the middle class are already fed up with inflation, especially that of food items; voluntarily taking a price hike might not even cross their minds. They experienced a major disappointment through the hike in indirect taxes without any reductions in income tax (not even deductions permissible under various sections) in the 2014-15 budget. This, when contrasted with huge figures of tax foregone in tax exemptions to corporates and businesses, could make the middle class bitter. Another point of irritation is the demand by MPs to double their salaries despite the huge amounts they draw as allowances and perks they enjoy in addition to their salary. Linking someone who gave up subsidy with another customer who benefited from this is also too simple an idea, which does little to prove the governments effectiveness and earnestness.

The attempt therefore is not going to have a significant impact unless the campaign goes beyond the rational and simple emotional satisfaction of benefiting someone less fortunate. It has to be accompanied by actual government efforts in other areas as well. Broadly, reducing inflation, preventing wasteful government expenditure, raising employment and average income are essential. Specific to LPG, promoting alternatives like piped gas or solar or electric cooking devices can be considered.

Therefore, mere appearances of activity is not sufficient. It has to accompanied by actual effort if the policy is to be effective.

As Time Goes by, Where do I live

In a previous era, my days and my life were based on the seasons. Summer meant vacations and freedom where even the stifling heat could not tire my spirit and body. There was always energy for one more game and always time for one more innings. Rains meant  a new school year, fresh books and drenched uniforms. Months and time of the day did not really matter for all that mattered were the seasons, and every season was always something to look forward to, something to be excited about and something to wait for.

In summer, I used to visit my grandparents place and there would be cousins to play with, elders telling us not to step into the sun and to be careful. But that has changed- one of my cousins is already married, grandparents are gone and we have built a new house in the same place where they had lived. But it is literally and figuratively impossible to recognise that I am at exactly the same place.

It is time that has changed and my life is no longer a matter of seasons, but of weekdays and weekends. The seasons are no longer significant- not just because they have become mixed up due to climate change- but life goes on no matter what. In the same place- which I used to wait anxiously to visit and where I used to play to my hearts content- in the same time of the year, there are no changes with the season. Do I wish those old days were back? That is where the period between my school days and working life taught me valuable lessons.

There was a period between the happy summer vacations and the normal summer days of now- university and civil service exam days. Summer, especially April brought the heat of Test2, lab exams and imminent compre. It was hectic and I wanted breathing space and time to relax- now I wish I was careful what I had wished for. What came next was an era that destroyed the seasons in the way usual people understand and brought Prelims, Post-Prelims, Mains, waiting anxiously, (disappointing) results and recovery seasons. When solely occupied (rather obsessed by exams), what happened everywhere else did not matter and I lost sense of time. The wait was killing, it was depressing and disappointing- time merely disappeared and it was just existence in the hope of something better some day- an endless wait. Three years went by as I stood still, waiting...

What has that taught me? To live in the present because I have control only over my present happiness and I can be happy no matter what the time, season or situation in life. To learn from the past and forget about the rest of it since it cannot come back but can guide me in my future. To build for the future so that I can be happy then too, no matter what the season or the event.