In the Season 5, Episode5 of TV Sitcom Big Bang Theory, when Howard asks Raj and Sheldon whether it is true that they were sick of him always mentioning his trip to space, Sheldon says yes and Raj says no. Sheldon then goes on to say that they had different approaches as he was going for helpful honesty. Perhaps the world needs a bit more of Sheldon's honesty, perhaps that might solve a lot of communication gaps and arguments and pretence.
I do agree that it cannot happen all of a sudden- certain areas like international politics and diplomacy, our own politics, offices etc might remain so. But what is the need of dropping hints, snide and nagging remarks among friends and in close relationships? This is where honesty should come in first, not to give people a rude awakening and question their own self, but to be better friends and to build stronger relationships based on openness and honesty where each one helps the other and stays with the other.
But it must spread beyond that, not to give others a piece of our minds or to destroy their worlds, but to tell the cold, hard truth for mutual benefit. The obstacle sometimes is our belief in not making a person feel bad and being nice to them. Even a Malayalam proverb says that inconvenient and uncomfortable truths are best avoided. The mother of a friend of mine asked me whether I was good at being tactful and diplomatic since I was preparing for the civil service. She said it would be prudent to be so when handling politicians. This is when I remembered having read that the duty of a civil servant is to give unbiased, objective and fact-based views and opinions to the political executive. But this was thrown away by many and the genuflection and pusillanimity of such civil servants have been severely criticised.
Civil servants need to give honest, straightforward and objective advise. Their opinion must not be circumscribed by values (does not mean it should be completely neglected since the fact-value dichotomy is practical only in theory) since it is upto the political executive to give more weightage to values. But the benefits arising from giving advise that would be considered good or pleasing and the resultant entry into the good books have meant several civil servants become humble servants and sycophants. The really smart ones would give the advice, clothe it in sweet words and would express their views without having to sacrifice their morals and principles and yet not invite grudge or enmity. This type of disguise should be accepted perhaps. So would the disguise needed to correct and convince a team-member/team-mate until the work is done since resentment and ill-will can hamper the work. A threadbare evaluation could perhaps be done after the work has been completed.
What this means is that pure honesty and the blunt truth is more a mark of poverty in creative thinking whereas complete disguise and cover-up signifies lack of moral courage. We need morality and courage which is aided by wisdom and creativity to achieve the full and proper effect. There is no point in using disguises all the time, the truth has to come out. So when all tact, hints and snide remarks fail, I think it is better to just go with the blunt facts. But when it is brought out is as important as the how- when the person is in a good mood, when the work is done and it is time to analyse, when personal safety is assured and the other person's situation is also considered.
But currently, the interest in saving a person's face, fear of retribution along with greed means that honesty takes a back seat. Add to it our general lazyness and reluctance to exert our brains, it is difficult to get honest opinions and analysis. Suppose a person actually gives honest opinions and airs views and criticism independently, contempt and even hostility follows. This not only prevents the person from being honest, but the fear generated also drives others into submission and they easily conform to societal norms. So along with wisdom, courage and creativity, handling society and its criticisms also is essential to honesty.
'Satyameva Jayate' should become more than just our national motto, but also the basis of our government's functioning. It is hard to stay honest, it is even more difficult to begin to be honest and straightforward (I say again, not the naive or blunt honesty, but the sensible and intelligent honesty that I have described above). Still, a beginning has to be made and the best place to do it is with people close to us, they should be able to accept us for what we are and stand our newly found sense of honesty. If this can spread and the world becomes a little bit more honest with itself, inspite of the difficulties, I believe it would well worth the effort because in the end, truth always wins.
I do agree that it cannot happen all of a sudden- certain areas like international politics and diplomacy, our own politics, offices etc might remain so. But what is the need of dropping hints, snide and nagging remarks among friends and in close relationships? This is where honesty should come in first, not to give people a rude awakening and question their own self, but to be better friends and to build stronger relationships based on openness and honesty where each one helps the other and stays with the other.
But it must spread beyond that, not to give others a piece of our minds or to destroy their worlds, but to tell the cold, hard truth for mutual benefit. The obstacle sometimes is our belief in not making a person feel bad and being nice to them. Even a Malayalam proverb says that inconvenient and uncomfortable truths are best avoided. The mother of a friend of mine asked me whether I was good at being tactful and diplomatic since I was preparing for the civil service. She said it would be prudent to be so when handling politicians. This is when I remembered having read that the duty of a civil servant is to give unbiased, objective and fact-based views and opinions to the political executive. But this was thrown away by many and the genuflection and pusillanimity of such civil servants have been severely criticised.
Civil servants need to give honest, straightforward and objective advise. Their opinion must not be circumscribed by values (does not mean it should be completely neglected since the fact-value dichotomy is practical only in theory) since it is upto the political executive to give more weightage to values. But the benefits arising from giving advise that would be considered good or pleasing and the resultant entry into the good books have meant several civil servants become humble servants and sycophants. The really smart ones would give the advice, clothe it in sweet words and would express their views without having to sacrifice their morals and principles and yet not invite grudge or enmity. This type of disguise should be accepted perhaps. So would the disguise needed to correct and convince a team-member/team-mate until the work is done since resentment and ill-will can hamper the work. A threadbare evaluation could perhaps be done after the work has been completed.
What this means is that pure honesty and the blunt truth is more a mark of poverty in creative thinking whereas complete disguise and cover-up signifies lack of moral courage. We need morality and courage which is aided by wisdom and creativity to achieve the full and proper effect. There is no point in using disguises all the time, the truth has to come out. So when all tact, hints and snide remarks fail, I think it is better to just go with the blunt facts. But when it is brought out is as important as the how- when the person is in a good mood, when the work is done and it is time to analyse, when personal safety is assured and the other person's situation is also considered.
But currently, the interest in saving a person's face, fear of retribution along with greed means that honesty takes a back seat. Add to it our general lazyness and reluctance to exert our brains, it is difficult to get honest opinions and analysis. Suppose a person actually gives honest opinions and airs views and criticism independently, contempt and even hostility follows. This not only prevents the person from being honest, but the fear generated also drives others into submission and they easily conform to societal norms. So along with wisdom, courage and creativity, handling society and its criticisms also is essential to honesty.
'Satyameva Jayate' should become more than just our national motto, but also the basis of our government's functioning. It is hard to stay honest, it is even more difficult to begin to be honest and straightforward (I say again, not the naive or blunt honesty, but the sensible and intelligent honesty that I have described above). Still, a beginning has to be made and the best place to do it is with people close to us, they should be able to accept us for what we are and stand our newly found sense of honesty. If this can spread and the world becomes a little bit more honest with itself, inspite of the difficulties, I believe it would well worth the effort because in the end, truth always wins.
1 comment:
'pure honesty and the blunt truth is more a mark of poverty in creative thinking whereas complete disguise and cover-up signifies lack of moral courage.'
Honestly, very very well put!
Much appreciated.
:)
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