An Occupation

Occupation(noun) : Any activity that occupies a person's attention

This time of the year, the last two years had been hell. This used to be the time immediately after Civil Service Exams results. The times were bad not just because the results were bad, but the period leading up to the results were also bad. There was the frustrating and scary anxiety, the desperation for a good result and then endless speculation and rumours. Life was completely taken over by it and it was misery in its complete manifestation.

This year has been different despite the fact that results have not been published yet- I have been able to realise the complete meaning of "occupation" for a change. The usual purpose of a job is to make money, but I also realised that it is essential to utilise one's time well. If one is not "occupied", the mind will start losing its way, which happened to me the last two occasions. The void left by lack of any occupation had been filled by fear, anxiety and a desperate plea for results to come out, which was more of a plea for mercy killing since I could not stand the pain of uncertainty any longer.

The change in my condition this year is not the result of a new found safety in the form a job but due to mental occupation created by the new job and the regular physical exhaustion from having to go to work. It has been highly engaging because since the time I joined, I have gone through a diverse set of environments and experiences which have been completely new to me. 

The occupation itself is completely unrelated to everything and anything I have studied. Banking is something I have never been exposed to deeply in my life and so I am like a sponge now trying to soak all the knowledge in. This is coming in the form of information, observation and advise. Here, the people around are highly important as they have been kind, helpful and eager to guide the rookie. They vary widely in age, attitude, experience and education, which is something I have rarely experienced in my life and this has given me a totally new perspective.

Apart from this, the events ever since I took up the job have also been quite diverse. From joining to initial exposure, the steep learning curve at a hectic and demanding branch, training at Gurgaon and Lucknow where I met those within my age group but with highly different perspectives and backgrounds (unlike my previous job and at university), practical wisdom in banking and human resource management from seniors and especially the last one week when I had to on deputation for marketing and to a single-man branch.

I can hardly believe that all these happened in the last 10 weeks since I joined SBI. I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams that things would have been so fast paced, engaging and strange. I do not know what the future beholds, but no matter what, I do not think I will have to live with dark days anymore. Whatever the results, let it come when it comes. I am not waiting for it, I am just too occupied to be bothered by something about which I cannot do anything and whatever I could have done, had been done 11weeks ago.